


Things my Mind can Smell

by lilolilyrae



Category: Twilight Series - All Media Types
Genre: Child Neglect, Gen, Lverse, Origin Story, powers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-03
Updated: 2019-11-03
Packaged: 2021-01-21 09:42:21
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 645
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21297407
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lilolilyrae/pseuds/lilolilyrae
Summary: Origin story of my original character Felicitas.
Relationships: Vivian/Jasper (lucyverse)
Kudos: 7
Collections: lverse





	Things my Mind can Smell

**Author's Note:**

> I'm on a roll here writing the origin stories to my weird ocs whenever I don't have any better ideas for the chapter of the day...
> 
> Also this has evolved so far away from canon that while twilight is still the /only/ fandom I'd tag this snippet with, it's rly only twilight related bc it's vaguely about twi-pires & Feli's mom is the (also original character obvs) twin of twilight's Victoria (& that would be another two! original ish characters- one with the name Victoria, you might've come across her in one of my other fics, & one with the /characteristics/ of canon Victoria) SO YEAH nothing much twilight going on here lol I hate those books & especially those movies so much, if you want to know why I can link you to a gazillion tumblr posts that explain it all better than I ever could  
Anywayz have fun reading I guess
> 
> Also I always kinda feel bad spoilering a character's storyline & character development (in this case Vivian) bc like- she used to be a nice person/character- what if I at some point /do/ write something about her earlier days and y'all gonna hate her because you've already read this- but then I'm like eh whatever

She can feel their pain. Their anger. Their loss.

Impressions, but sometimes there are words in the impressions- explanations about things no-one else ever explained to her.

"Cult!" one woman thinks, Felicitas catching the words amongst the anger, fear and pain the woman thinks, "She's gone and joined a cult- now I'll never see her again-" 

Felicitas asks her mother what the word means, and Vivian closes off immediately- there is a faint fear there, too, but of what Felicitas can't tell. Fear of finding out about things she shouldn't know? Fear of what she might think of her?

She already knows some about what her parents get up to, about the people they spend their time with.

She knows what most of them- her mother included, most of the time- think of her, too: _weapon. Useful. Spy._

Of course she has always known what her parents think about her _gift_. How _proud_ they are of her- they've told her often enough. That it hadn't even been certain she would have a gift at all- not even full 'pires have one for certain, or at least don't always figure out what it is. And for her to have one so powerful, despite being half human...

Felicitas knows her mother's view on humans. _Weak_, she calls them, _lesser beings_. Sometimes, she wonders why she won't just eat them, then, when it would make her only more powerful. But somehow, the thought makes Vivian filled with badly concealed distaste... Remnants from the past.

Her parents think humans are weak, a liability. Felicitas is half one. It does things to a person, hearing it again and again.

_Why can't you just turn me, too?_ She used to ask. But they can't, because she is already half and half.

_I took a great sacrifice, being human for as long as it took to carry you_, her mother often told her. She doesn't say how she did it- no-one tells Felicitas anything about it, she supposes it has something to do with people _outside_. 

_Why didn't father turn human too, then_, she never even asked. _If I had been fully human, I could have been turned, too!_ She never says. At first, it's out of fear of yet again being called slow for not understanding things everyone should already know. Soon enough, she finds out the truth for herself. Her mother often feels inferior- is afraid of it, too. Would have certainly been afraid of her taking on her place in the hierarchy... So they made sure she would be the inferior one, for all her life. She can feel it, smell it in the bitterness of their minds. 

_Stop thinking, get going, grow up! _

'Grow up'. She would grow faster than a human child, it had always been made clear. Her mind would, too- she could think faster than humans, take in and process more information at once, so her brain, memory, maturity would not be behind her body in development. 

'Grow up'. She knows she's not supposed to be a child. A child is a liability. She will always be a liability, but at least grown she will be less of one.

Sometimes, she wonders how it would be to be normal.

Sometimes, she wonders how it would be to simply be _away_.

Felicitas started wondering about that more and more as she reaches her third birthday- she looks like a teenager now. 

Who could she turn to? Who would take her in? Most importantly- who would not rat her out again?

She knows Vivian has at least one sister, felt her think about her with a painful sort of nostalgia that has nothing to do with death and yet all with loss.

_That is where I will start,_ Felicitas thinks. _If I ever can make up my mind on whether or not I want to run away._

**Author's Note:**

> If you made it this far, be so kind and click kudos :)


End file.
